The Chief Counsel of the IRS looked over the final budget bill that was passed and thought, “oh no, this can’t be”. He called Sammy Slingshot from the Joint Committee on Taxation. “Sammy, did you see this amendment to Section 7701, regarding death?” asked the Counsel. “Sure, it looked innocuous to me, after all it just codifies the law as I understand it which is that when a doctor says you’re dead, you’re dead”, answered Slingshot. “This could create a huge loophole” and he went on to describe the HERGOTIA voodoo thing. “Wow, I didn’t know”, said Slingshot. “Well at least you can argue that the law wasn’t that on people dying before the date the law was enacted”, added Slingshot. “Yeah, but people are planning to die in the next few days that are quite rich we understand, HERGOTIA is a veritable Cannes, this week, there are so many rich people there dying. Let’s hope one doesn’t wake up”, the Counsel added.

December 15, 2010.

Sam appeared for his voodoo death. A guy dressed up like a skeleton pranced around him spouting gibberish and blew some powder into his face and everything went black. He was taken to the hospital and pronounced dead at 4:15 p.m. from a heart attack. His body was shipped to a special refrigeration room until he woke up.

This minister and Mr. Mitchell had a conference call. “Mr. Mitchell, we desperately seek your advice about a rather delicate matter. He went on to describe their program. “So, what you’re telling me is that they are clinically dead, but wake up two days later”, asked Mitchell. “Yes, our doctors will certify truthfully that they are clinically dead on the date of death. We just don’t schedule an autopsy because of the risk that they might rebound in two days”, said the Minister. “Well heck son, these good Christians in Congress ain’t gonna fight a good old fashioned resurrection. There is a budget reconciliation bill going through Congress right now, I’ll get Congressman Pockets to put a rider on the bill which amends 26 U.S.C. Section 7701 of the Internal Revenue Code to read as follows: “Death, solely for the purposes of this Title, shall be determined by a licensed physician at the location where the deceased person dies and cannot thereafter be questioned even if the physician made an error or the person recovers later.” After hanging up, he sent an email to Congressman Pockets to add this to the bill. The chief legislative aide to Congressman Pockets looked at the language. “Seems rather straight-forward to me”, said the aide. “If the guy is certified as dead, he’s dead”. He sent the language to the Budget Office for scoring and it received a budget score of zero since no one believed that it would impact the budget at all or if it did, it would be so minuscule that it would not be worth calculating. So, it was inserted into the budget resolution and signed into law by the President. On December 14, 2010.

In HERGOTIA, the tourism director was perplexed. This procedure was clearly bad for business. He called his Ambassador to the United States to ask what could be done. The Ambassador winced. Since this had come out, he had to some degree become the laughing stock in the diplomatic cocktail party circuit and was loathe to defend it. However, he knew that if he didn’t try to do something, he’d be back in HERGOTIA without a job or a title. So, he suggested that the tourism director call a Washington lawyer who was known for his lobbying skills. Tommy Mitchell. Tommy knew Washington’s skeletons better than anyone. By sharing this information with the minister, the Ambassador figured that he would be seen as being helpful without actually doing anything to promote this voodoo policy himself. The minister called Tommy’s office and got through to Tommy’s secretary. “Mr. Mitchell will be happy to discuss the matter with you, but we need a retainer of $50,000 first, and his hourly rate is $1,000 per hour.” The minister had been prepared for this request, and asked for wiring instructions and gave the secretary his email address for the retainer letter to be sent. He knew that for this kind of help, it would not be cheap.

In the meantime, Sam Burncoat, had read something on the IRS website announcing this new policy and called his contact in HERGOTIA. “Not a problem, sir, when you are put into the voodoo trance, you are buried in a casket in a tomb with piped in oxygen. That way our mortician can certify that you were buried on the death certificate. The casket has a video camera installed so that when you come out of the trance, we immediately increase the oxygen mixed with a mild sedative and pull you out of the ground”, said the salesman. “Sounds safe enough”, Sam replied. He then scheduled his death for December 15, 2010. He sent engraved invites to his friends to come to a death celebration party at his home on December 12 with a grim reaper on the cover.