We now return to the joys of 2010 and the fact that Congress has not yet passed a bill changing the unified credit from unlimited in 2010. We hear that Congress intends to deal with this by the end of the year but if they don’t watch for the following really tacky idea.

THE DEATH CERTIFICATE PRINTING OFFICE.

The Government of the tiny African Principality called HERGOTIA was having trouble balancing the budget. Their King, also known as King Nogomo had a friend living in the United States, by the name of Ngu Burnufu. Ngu was trying to become a chartered life underwriter so he could sell Life Insurance on the internet. Ngu’s plan was to sell the insurance written by HERGOTIAN insurance companies in the United States. While attending a seminar Ngu learned that there is no death tax for the year 2010 if you die in 2010

Ngu called King Nogomo on his cell phone and said told him about the glitch in the law. “I wonder if these rich Americans would travel to HERGOTIA and for a fee get a death certificate”, he asked the King. The King frowned, but then said, “it might be good for tourism, but we need to upgrade our hotels.” A large investment was made in redecorating hotels throughout HERGOTIA.. As a result, he came up with a plan, sell travel packages to HERGOTIA so that people can “die” there.

Sam Burnedcoat had built an internet empire. His multiple blogs were worth an estimated One Hundred Million Dollars. He had chosen sports topics to blog about and most importantly became a fantasy sports guru of sorts. People checked out his blogs every day to see who was hurt, who was hot and who as slumping, so that they could manipulate their fantasy teams. Every hit was like a dollar sign to him. Sam was 35 years old and unmarried. He knew that he could and would start other blogs in the future, but he heard that if he died he could leave his empire to his needful parents who were entering old age. But he didn’t really want to die. So, he searched the internet and found out about HERGOTIA. But that wouldn’t end the inquiry he had to prepare the landing for his death first. He needed a new identity. The folks in HERGOTIA could help with that, too. They would give him a birth certificate with a new name, but he would of course be a citizen of HERGOTIA. For Sam, this was not a problem, since he worked on the internet and HERGOTIA had great internet facilities in their hotels.

January 1, 2011

After a valiant fight, Jack Jenkins died at 4 a.m.

September 1, 2011

“It’s ashame you had to pay all those taxes Sally. If only he had gotten to ‘I do’ before the heart attack”, Lawyer Dobbins remarked. “Actually, he did. Do you remember that trip we took to Washington, D.C. last fall?” Sally asked. “ Yes” replied the lawyer. “Here is the hotel registration, he listed us as Mr. and Mrs. Jack Jenkins at the Hyatt Hotel in D.C.. D.C. is a common-law marriage state and according to this legal opinion I got from a D.C. lawyer, we were married. He held me out as his wife. At that point I had been divorced from Beau. Please file the return claiming the spousal rights”, Sally asked. “That’s great news, they’ll be no taxes until you die, Sally”, the lawyer answered.

March 1, 2011

Brian Peterson was handed an estate tax return to review. It was for a guy named Jack Jenkins. He checked the assets, the appraisals, the arithmatic, and approved the return. He never questioned the marital deduction since there was a joint tax return on file for the last year of life of the decedent. He sent the file up for a closing letter and the return showed zero taxes due and owing. “I can see this guy did no planning. He left everything to his wife”, he thought.

WRITER’S COMMENT. This is one of those stories that as I started writing it, took on a life of its own and I could have had it go on for a few more weeks and probably will continue to write on this tale off-line. Clearly the moral here is that when the Government creates an incentive by handing out money, some evil minded people are going to try and get the money. Tomorrow a new tax tale on a different tax topic.

December 31, 2010

It was the social event of the season. Jack Jenkins was going to get married right after midnight. It was clear that he and Sally were meant for each other. As they danced the evening away and toasted in the New Year. But Jack wasn’t looking his usual happy go lucky self. He looked like he might have the flu. More than one person asked him are you okay? At 12:15 a.m., as the guests were seated to await the Bridal Entrance, a commotion occurred in one of the anterooms. “Dr. Reynolds can you come into the sitting room, its Jack?”, said a friend. Dr. Reynolds sprinted into the sitting room. Jack was unconscious on the floor, his face ashen. The doctor felt for a pulse and there was none. “Call 911 and I need the defribrillator machine.” A waiter ran down to the golf locker room and procured the machine which was kept for golfers who wanted to get in one last round of golf, and ran it up to the sitting room. The doctor applied the paddles. Nothing happened. He upped the amps, nothing happened. He tried again he got a faint pulse. At that point the ambulance arrived and Jack was taken in critical condition to the hospital.

Detective Black returned to the hospital, “is he able to talk, yet?” “Yes, but only briefly”, the doctor answered.

“Good evening Mr. Beaudine, I’m Detective Black, I’m sorry about the handcuffs on your bed, but well, you tried to kill a man.” The detective then proceeded to read him his Miranda warning. “I want a lawyer”, Beaudine answered. “As I understand it you have the funds to hire one, since your victim gave you $200,000.” “So, you have your mouthpiece available tomorrow so that I can interview you”. “I’m not gonna answer any questions”, Beaudine responded. “Smart man”, the detective replied. “That will make it real easy to get your butt to jail for 25 to life. You have a nice day, now.”

December 15, 2010

No charges were brought against Jack Jenkins. Beau Beaudine was convicted of attempted murder after a long and rancorous trial. He was sentenced to 25 years to life. Sally got a divorce from Beau and of course custody of the children. Jack, Jr. received an interesting note in the mail. “You are hereby invited to the wedding of Jack Jenkins, Sr. and Sally Beaudine on January 1, 2011 at 12:30 a.m. at the Montgomery Golf and Country Club.”

“Okay, I need to hear your side of the story”, the Detective started. “I know this much,

you fired once at the victim and he fired at you, all the witnesses confirmed this. What I want to know from you is why did you shoot first?” Jack Jenkins didn’t squirm or even blink. “I didn’t shoot first, he shot at me from across the street and missed, I returned fire and hit him in the gut on the first shot. I have a carry permit, since Junior started trying to kill me.” The detective smiled, “that pretty much confirms things that I know, but don’t leave town. Now I just need to know what this is all about. Are you part feline? I swear you have nine lives.”

The Detective then went to the hospital, “is he able to speak yet?” “No” the doctor said, “come back tomorrow”.

March 3, 2010.

“How do you plead?” the judge asked Jack, Jr. “Guilty, your honor”. The judge then asked all the required questions before accepting the plea which Junior answered each one the proper way. “I am going to accept your plea and accept the recommendation of the state that you be sentenced to 20 years. You played a very dangerous game and had one or more of your intended victims died, you would have been facing the needle. So, I remand you to the State Department of Corrections for assignment.” That night Jack, Jr. got off the bus at the minimum security work camp. As he drove up, Jack, Jr. asked the corrections officer why he was going to a work camp instead of a minimum security prison. “Because, we own your ass, boy, for the next 20 years and your daddy was a hero to the Governor. The bargain was kept to the letter as I understand it. Go whine to your lawyer”. Junior gingerly approached the barracks and was immediately surrounded by tough looking men with the look of wolves seeing fresh game. “We got us a newbie here, Trustee” one of them remarked. Junior’s first night in prison was not a fun night to say the least.