A Funeral and a tax return

November 2, 2010.

Laura Holden looked at the charred body in front of her. “5’10” height, weight 230 pounds. White man. Dental records match one Sheldon Jones. DNA records confirm it is Sheldon Jones per his physician. Cause of death, plane crash. Probably blunt force trauma to the head since the burned skin appeared to be post-mortem. Clearly, it was Sheldon Jones. Date of death November 1, 2010” She turned off the tape recorder massaged her long neck and called the funeral home, “he’s yours Robbie. I’ll have the death certificates to you in a couple of days”

November 12, 2009

The funeral for Sheldon Jones was other worldly to say the least. It was held at the West Zion Church outside of town. The children didn’t look all that upset for one thing. Some attributed it to their Christian beliefs, others figured they were happy to be rich. There were no eulogies either, other than the minister saying some points of personal privilege. The ashes were kept by the family for a private disposal at sea, so there was no graveside service.

July 15, 2011

Roger Johnson looked at the file in front of him. He had been tasked with preparing the Federal Estate Tax return for one Sheldon Jones. He pulled out the death certificate. “No surprise there, date of death November 1, 2010, plane crash,” he thought. He pulled out he appraisals of the multiple parcels of real property owned by Sheldon Jones. They did the three standard appraisal tests, income, replacement value and comparable sales approaches to get to the Fair Market Value. After adding up all the numbers, it totaled, $735 Million on the date of death, he had debts of $215 Million and a charitable deduction of $100 Million. “Boy, he sure died in the right year”, was the thought that raced through Johnson’s mind. “Wow, what a difference a year makes, $175 Million in savings on Estate Taxes”, he muttered to himself. He carefully filled out all of the pages of the Federal Estate Tax return. After finishing it, he took the return to Christine Jones to sign.

A gift of a charitable nature

October 13, 2010.

Jones called the Meeting of the Sheldon Jones Panama Foundation to order. For the first order of business, we have to acknowledge a gift from me to the foundation of $50 Million in appreciated stock in Jones Realty REIT. The next order of business is to name an executive director. I nominate Lupe Cordero to serve as Executive Director. A vote was taken and the Board appointed Lupe as Executive Director and set his salary at $200,000 per year.

October 13, 2010.

Jones met with the attorney to go over the terms of his will. The will would leave $100 Million to the Panama Foundation the rest in a Dynasty Trust to his children and their descendants. His attorney scratched it out quickly. Jones signed it with all the formality even teasing the lawyer when the lawyer asked if he was of sound mind. The witnesses laughed.

November 1, 2010

Barry Obramowitz of the NTSB checked the fusilage of the plane and then the engine. He checked the wires. Barry was a no nonsense, “Joe Friday” sort of fellow. “Man, its getting chilly”, he thought. Not a large man, he didn’t have much meat on his bones and shivered on the early November morning. He found nothing was cut and no evidence foul play. He noticed that the fuel line had a crack in it. He listened again to the black box recording. A loss in fuel would not have explained the pilot’s blackout. That would usually only be explained by a loss of cabin pressure. But perhaps, the loss of fuel caused the air system to fail thus trapping the occupants of the plane in their own carbon dioxide. A real stumper here. With the plane in shreds it was hard to determine whether there was a carbon dioxide leak or even a carbon monoxide leak.

He checked all the gauges, the dials, the black box, he cut open parts of the plane that were sealed to find anything about what was inside the plane as far as the loss of consciousness was concerned.

His cell phone rang, it was the local hospital. The pilot had been brought in with lacerations and a sprained ankle.

He went to Piney Point Hospital and met with the pilot, Mick O’Hara. O’Hara told him that fuel gauge nose dived, then suddenly, the plane engines cut out and that CO must have been leaking into the passenger section because Jones was out cold or perhaps the O2 was lacking. He tried to awaken him, but he didn’t respond. He weighed too much to get a chute on him and time was running out for O’Hara to jump. So O’Hara jumped out. Barry wrote that down in his notebook. Thanked O’Hara and told O’Hara that he would probably have to have a hearing before the FAA before flying again. Usually the FAA grounds pilots when their planes fall out of the sky. The Pilot didn’t care, he was on salary to the Jones REIT at $100,000 per year whether he flew or not for the next five years. He figured that he was due for a vacation anyway.

A visit to the doctor

October 30, 2010 at 9:30 p.m.

“Boy that was the easiest hacking job we’ve ever had. We got into McGonagles and Stephens records and put in the x-rays for the stiff and changed the charts to show the fillings as well and various scars”, Borisoff stated expertly. “The rest of your fee will be wired in 30 seconds”, said the voice at the other end of the telephone.

October 30, 2010.

Jones wrote Sam McGonagle’s name into his rolodex under the word “dentist”. He told his kids that he was changing dentists to Sam McGonagle. He also told them that his insurance had forced him to change primary care physicians. His new doctor was in the same building. Dr. Stephens.

October 15, 2010.

Dr. Stephens had performed hundreds of physicals. He dictated into his computer his notes. Met with one Sheldon Jones. He brought over his prior medical records from Dr. Langston via diskette. He downloaded them into his computer and printed a hard copy for his file on Jones. “Dr. Stephen’s you’ve come highly recommended and take my health insurance. I’m glad to see that you are so thorough and so interested in my health. By the way do you know of any dentists nearby?” They talked awhile further. Jones mentioned he was thinking of buying a company that backed up medical records off-site and wondered if Stephen’s used such a service. Stephens smiled, “I just started this year, each day my files are backed up there.” “Great!” replied Jones. “I want to be certain that my investment is worth doing. Thanks.”

September 29, 2010.

“Mac, I just discovered that I have an illegitimate half brother. I want to ensure that he has some decent money and that I don’t have to pay gift taxes on the gift”, said Jones to his lawyer, Mac Morris over the telephone. Morris is a slightly balding short slim man with a well manicured bearded and graying reddish hair. Well Sheldon, you can give up to a Million to your half-brother without any gift taxes, although you will have to file a return and you will use up what you can give your kids when you die, “ Morris responded. “Then, I think my family owes Lupe $1 Million,” Jones said. Jones continued “I have told my half-brother to open a bank account in Panama. Here are the wiring instructions can you see to it that the bank wires this money to my half-brother. His name is Lupe Cordero.” Jones then switched topics. “In view of this development, I feel a special kinship to the needy of Panama. I want to start a charity for these folks. Let’s call it the Sheldon Jones Panama Foundation, I want the Board of Directors to be my daughter Christine and my son, Phillipe, Lupe, and me of course.”

If a plane crashes in the woods…

November 1, 2010.

A private jet crashed into a field in western Warren County, Virginia. It apparently hit some small peaks of the early stages of the Blue Ridge Mountains and crashed into a ravine of a very fast river. The plane was shredded and no survivors were found aboard, there were fragments of a dead body, presumably the remains of the pilot or a passenger. A few days later, the NTSB got a look at the black box. The check of its flight data recorder showed that the pilot had blacked out apparently. He was talking and then he wasn’t. There were cries from the passenger section which would have been understandable under the circumstances. There was some strange whooshing noise. Perhaps someone had tried to jump out before impact. The manifest showed one pilot and one passenger, a rich guy named Sheldon Jones. The Sheriff had cordoned off the area, the NTSB came to reconstruct the accident.

October 30, 2010.

Jones sat in Sam McGonagle=s dentist chair. “So, doc, how do you keep your records?” McGonagle smiled, “Well after I see you, we enter all of the data into a mainframe computer back up which is then stored at 10 p.m. tonight into an off-site mainframe in New Jersey, and of course we keep a paper file here as well.”