We interrupt this story for some breaking news

It appears that UBS has reach a settlement with the IRS vis a vis its summons. They will turn over documentation to the IRS on August 12. Why is this relevant you ask? if you have a foreign UBS account, that means that if you did not file a Form 90.22-1 (FBAR) for that account and don’t do so by Tuesday night, you could be subject to criminal penalties. This effectively moves up the amnesty deadline for UBS overseas customers from September 12 to August 11.

Why does the phone keep ringing?

December 23, 2009

“Well Marilyn, Dad’s dead. You know the drill. We put the clothes that we got from the Discountmart two counties over on him.” “I know Daniel, then we put him in the large walk-in freezer and hope no one comes calling on him”. “Daniel, this is really messy and pretty gross.” “I know Marilyn, but do you want to inherit $2 Billion or $1 Billion, if that because we’d have to sell the business?” “Stop shouting, Daniel, I’m just feeling a bit queasy about all of this.” “Marilyn, this is your chance at pure financial freedom, all the partying you could ever want for the rest of your life, security for any children you might have, and keeping the business in our family.” “I know, Daniel and I’m sorry, I’ll help you get Dad ready for the freezer”.

December 24, 2009

“Hello, Marilyn, this is Gladys Johnson in town, does your father want to go to the Midnight Christmas Eve Service at the Church tonight, he hasn’t missed one in years.?”

“Oh Gladys, I’m sorry but he’s really doing quite poorly, I hope he makes it to Christmas, but thanks for asking about him”, Marilyn cooed in her most seriously earnest sounding voice. She feared that Gladys would be a problem for the next few weeks because she was a busy body. Gladys Johnson was a hair dresser at the Hairs Today Gone Tomorrow. She made it her life’s work to know everyone else’s business so that she could dispense gossipy tidbits to ensure her steady stream of blue haired ladies at the salon. Gladys had a voice that sounded like a lawnmower, and her red dyed hair gave her a clown-like quality. Yes, she would be a problem.

December 25, 2009

“Hello, Daniel, thees is Esmerelda, I wanted to call and thank Mr. Frome for the trip to Florida and wish him a Merry Christmas.” “He’s ahh very weak, Esmerelda, he’ll probably only be able to say “Merry Christmas to you”, replied Daniel.

Daniel picked up the tape player and punched the button, “Hello”, Sid’s voice was weak. “Hello Mr. Frome, this is Esmerelda.” She paused hoping for a response, but there was none. She continued, “I just wanted to call and thank you for the trip and wish you a Merry Christmas”.

Daniel had been changing the tape. “Merry Christmas” Sid seemed to reply. At that point, Daniel spoke, “Esmerelda, he seems quite weak today, Thank you for calling and we’ll see you next week. Merry Christmas”.

A few minutes later the doorbell rang, it was that pesky Gladys Johnson, holding a jar with a ribbon on it. Daniel answered the door. “Hi, Ms. Johnson, what brings you out here?” “Well I know how your father likes my apple butter, so I wanted to give this to him. Is he awake?”

Sid Turns up

August 10, 2010

It was eight months before they found Sid Frome. “Sheriff, we found a body in the woods. I think it’s Sid. There’s the flannel cap, the black pants, what’s left of a ski vest. What a mess!” The Sheriff picked up the telephone and called the medical examiner’s office. “Hello, Mac, this is Sheriff Burnett of Fauquier County, better get Laura down here, we’ve got a hot one.” A few minutes later, the telephone rang at the Sheriff’s office, it was Laura, “I’m on the way, Sheriff.”

Several hours later, Laura looked at the skeleton in front of her. The stench was not too bad because there wasn’t much left. A few bits of tissue remained, but the animals, birds and bugs had done their work. No broken bones, no signs of foul play, The body looked like several that she had seen that had died of exposure. She took her camera, took pictures of the body, and took samples. The clothing was torn and spread all over the area, obviously by animals. She took pictures of the bits of clothing as well. “That poor man, he died out here, all alone. Why in the hell did his kids let him go out alone?”

August 15, 2010

Laura finished Sidney’s autopsy. She checked fluid levels, chemical levels, and looked for signs of foul play. There were slight evidences of frost bite in the tissues that remained, but then he supposedly died in a snowstorm.

She put her notes aside and rubbed her neck brushing back her red hair as she did so. She glanced at her watch. “Oh my gosh, I have a date in 45 minutes!!” She put the body back in the drawer, and her notes in the file, the file into the cabinet, and the headed to the parking lot. She jumped into her red sun-drenched convertible. “Gee, I haven’t been out all day”, she thought. She put the top down and pulled into the evening traffic.

Brian Peterson left the meeting room rolling his eyes. The Chief Counsel had briefed all of the estate and gift tax auditors on the 2010 changes in the law. In one month the first estate tax returns would come rolling in. The Service enacted a temporary procedure requiring that tax returns be filed for any estates exceeding One Million Dollars. It seemed like a useless exercise, but the Chief Counsel said there were two things that we should review. First, note which estates had the so-called Dynasty Trusts. These estates were exempt from estate and generation skipping taxes through the second generation. After that they would become taxable when the second generation died out. Thus, by documenting them for taxation down the road, they were protecting the treasury.

Second, confirm the date and cause of death. The Chief Counsel opined that suicide in 2010 by someone worth more than $1 Million could theoretically be viewed as tax evasion if the suicide was linked to a desire to evade taxes. Some people might also lie about the date of death, so the death certificates must be reviewed.

As he walked down the hall, Brian looked at his watch, “I’d better get going or Laura’s going to be mad as a wet hen, if I’m late”, he thought.

Laura and Brian went to a nice chain seafood restaurant in Reston, Virginia. After eating, they went out for a drink. “So Brian, tell me about your work”, said Laura. “I work at the Estate and Gift Tax Branch of the IRS. Its very hyper-technical and kind of boring work. Although we’re in a tax year where mischief could abound. For example, if a billionaire died in 2009, his family would owe hundreds of millions in estate taxes, but if he died in 2010, he’d owe zero estate taxes. The chief told us suicides might even be considered tax evasion. I guess we’ll be relying on you coroners this year a great deal.” Laura smiled. Then her face got serious. “You know I just had a case come across my desk this week that’s weird. A sick old man went for a walk on New Year’s day, got lost in the snow and died. His body was found this summer, badly decomposed and mostly eaten by vermin, scavengers and bugs.” “Sounds appetizing”, joked Brian. “The guy was a billionaire. I was going to put the date of death down as August 10, 2010, the legal date of death since that is when the body was found, it was likely January 1, 2010, since a witness supposedly saw him and his family called the sheriff to say he was missing on that day. But obviously, they would have a great incentive to lie about his going out, wouldn’t they? And I’ve been troubled by the fact that no one went out with that sick old man on a snowy day in January.” “Yeah, I suppose you’re right”, Brian said. “Do you have to put a date of death on the death certificate?”, he asked “Yes, our regulations require it, and the date we found the body is the legal date of death ” she replied. “And if you never found the body, what would the date of death be?” asked Brian. “Sounds like a stumper to me, but your determination would be binding I guess. What if for example he had been dead for a week or a day before New Year’s Day, how could you prove that he died before New Year’s Day, eight months later?” Laura smiled and said, “absent some really clear information to the contrary we can’t.”

Sidney takes a stroll

January 1, 2010

The rural Virginia countryside had its first snow, and it was several inches deep. School children were hoping for more, but that was all that fell. Folks were out and about going from house to house, to celebrate the New Year, watch bowl games, and generally work off the hangover from the night before. It was a surprise to see Sidney Frome out. After all he was sick. The whole county knew that he was near death’s door. But there he was shuffling through the snow toward town on the road with its picturesque rock walls. Some folks called his name and waved, but he just kept walking looking down at the snow covered ground in front of him.

That evening Sheriff Burnett received a call. It was Marilyn Frome, “Sheriff, Daddy went out and he hasn’t come home.” She sounded frantic. “He said he was feeling better and wanted to see the decorations in town. I tried to talk him out of it, but you know how stubborn he is. I shouldn’t have let him go.” “Calm down now Marilyn,” the Sheriff said. “We’ll see if we can find him”. But his thoughts were much different. “Damn that old fool. I was planning on seeing the Orange Bowl tonight between Oklahoma and SMU. But noooo, now I have to stomp around in the snow and look for his fool self.” “Marilyn, what was he wearing?”, he asked. “He was wearing a blue flannel shirt, one of those ski vests, one of those red checked hats with the ear flaps, and work boots”, she replied. “Any idea what kind of pants he was wearing?” “They were black, I think.” He picked up the radio. “All cars, this is Sheriff Burnett, If you see Sid Frome, get him home. His family’s worried about him. He’s wearing a red checked flannel hat with flaps, blue flannel shirts, ski vest, black pants and work boots.” His deputies combed the roadsides to see if they saw him. Then the snow started again. If he fell down in the snow and needed help, any chance of finding him would be useless now. Any footprints he might have left would be gone now. The countryside had that new snow beauty, like a Christmas card. It was a though God had changed the color scheme of the world. Sheriff Burnett wondered, “Will it be spring before we find that body, if we ever find it?”