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We interrupt this story for some breaking news
It appears that UBS has reach a settlement with the IRS vis a vis its summons. They will turn over documentation to the IRS on August 12. Why is this relevant you ask? if you have a foreign UBS account, that means that if you did not file a Form 90.22-1 (FBAR) for that account and don’t do so by Tuesday night, you could be subject to criminal penalties. This effectively moves up the amnesty deadline for UBS overseas customers from September 12 to August 11.
Why does the phone keep ringing?
December 23, 2009
“Well Marilyn, Dad’s dead. You know the drill. We put the clothes that we got from the Discountmart two counties over on him.” “I know Daniel, then we put him in the large walk-in freezer and hope no one comes calling on him”. “Daniel, this is really messy and pretty gross.” “I know Marilyn, but do you want to inherit $2 Billion or $1 Billion, if that because we’d have to sell the business?” “Stop shouting, Daniel, I’m just feeling a bit queasy about all of this.” “Marilyn, this is your chance at pure financial freedom, all the partying you could ever want for the rest of your life, security for any children you might have, and keeping the business in our family.” “I know, Daniel and I’m sorry, I’ll help you get Dad ready for the freezer”.
December 24, 2009
“Hello, Marilyn, this is Gladys Johnson in town, does your father want to go to the Midnight Christmas Eve Service at the Church tonight, he hasn’t missed one in years.?”
“Oh Gladys, I’m sorry but he’s really doing quite poorly, I hope he makes it to Christmas, but thanks for asking about him”, Marilyn cooed in her most seriously earnest sounding voice. She feared that Gladys would be a problem for the next few weeks because she was a busy body. Gladys Johnson was a hair dresser at the Hairs Today Gone Tomorrow. She made it her life’s work to know everyone else’s business so that she could dispense gossipy tidbits to ensure her steady stream of blue haired ladies at the salon. Gladys had a voice that sounded like a lawnmower, and her red dyed hair gave her a clown-like quality. Yes, she would be a problem.
December 25, 2009
“Hello, Daniel, thees is Esmerelda, I wanted to call and thank Mr. Frome for the trip to Florida and wish him a Merry Christmas.” “He’s ahh very weak, Esmerelda, he’ll probably only be able to say “Merry Christmas to you”, replied Daniel.
Daniel picked up the tape player and punched the button, “Hello”, Sid’s voice was weak. “Hello Mr. Frome, this is Esmerelda.” She paused hoping for a response, but there was none. She continued, “I just wanted to call and thank you for the trip and wish you a Merry Christmas”.
Daniel had been changing the tape. “Merry Christmas” Sid seemed to reply. At that point, Daniel spoke, “Esmerelda, he seems quite weak today, Thank you for calling and we’ll see you next week. Merry Christmas”.
A few minutes later the doorbell rang, it was that pesky Gladys Johnson, holding a jar with a ribbon on it. Daniel answered the door. “Hi, Ms. Johnson, what brings you out here?” “Well I know how your father likes my apple butter, so I wanted to give this to him. Is he awake?”
Taking Sunday off
Come back again tomorrow to see what happens next.
Sidney takes a stroll
January 1, 2010
The rural Virginia countryside had its first snow, and it was several inches deep. School children were hoping for more, but that was all that fell. Folks were out and about going from house to house, to celebrate the New Year, watch bowl games, and generally work off the hangover from the night before. It was a surprise to see Sidney Frome out. After all he was sick. The whole county knew that he was near death’s door. But there he was shuffling through the snow toward town on the road with its picturesque rock walls. Some folks called his name and waved, but he just kept walking looking down at the snow covered ground in front of him.
That evening Sheriff Burnett received a call. It was Marilyn Frome, “Sheriff, Daddy went out and he hasn’t come home.” She sounded frantic. “He said he was feeling better and wanted to see the decorations in town. I tried to talk him out of it, but you know how stubborn he is. I shouldn’t have let him go.” “Calm down now Marilyn,” the Sheriff said. “We’ll see if we can find him”. But his thoughts were much different. “Damn that old fool. I was planning on seeing the Orange Bowl tonight between Oklahoma and SMU. But noooo, now I have to stomp around in the snow and look for his fool self.” “Marilyn, what was he wearing?”, he asked. “He was wearing a blue flannel shirt, one of those ski vests, one of those red checked hats with the ear flaps, and work boots”, she replied. “Any idea what kind of pants he was wearing?” “They were black, I think.” He picked up the radio. “All cars, this is Sheriff Burnett, If you see Sid Frome, get him home. His family’s worried about him. He’s wearing a red checked flannel hat with flaps, blue flannel shirts, ski vest, black pants and work boots.” His deputies combed the roadsides to see if they saw him. Then the snow started again. If he fell down in the snow and needed help, any chance of finding him would be useless now. Any footprints he might have left would be gone now. The countryside had that new snow beauty, like a Christmas card. It was a though God had changed the color scheme of the world. Sheriff Burnett wondered, “Will it be spring before we find that body, if we ever find it?”