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Why does the phone keep ringing?

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December 23, 2009

“Well Marilyn, Dad’s dead. You know the drill. We put the clothes that we got from the Discountmart two counties over on him.” “I know Daniel, then we put him in the large walk-in freezer and hope no one comes calling on him”. “Daniel, this is really messy and pretty gross.” “I know Marilyn, but do you want to inherit $2 Billion or $1 Billion, if that because we’d have to sell the business?” “Stop shouting, Daniel, I’m just feeling a bit queasy about all of this.” “Marilyn, this is your chance at pure financial freedom, all the partying you could ever want for the rest of your life, security for any children you might have, and keeping the business in our family.” “I know, Daniel and I’m sorry, I’ll help you get Dad ready for the freezer”.

December 24, 2009

“Hello, Marilyn, this is Gladys Johnson in town, does your father want to go to the Midnight Christmas Eve Service at the Church tonight, he hasn’t missed one in years.?”

“Oh Gladys, I’m sorry but he’s really doing quite poorly, I hope he makes it to Christmas, but thanks for asking about him”, Marilyn cooed in her most seriously earnest sounding voice. She feared that Gladys would be a problem for the next few weeks because she was a busy body. Gladys Johnson was a hair dresser at the Hairs Today Gone Tomorrow. She made it her life’s work to know everyone else’s business so that she could dispense gossipy tidbits to ensure her steady stream of blue haired ladies at the salon. Gladys had a voice that sounded like a lawnmower, and her red dyed hair gave her a clown-like quality. Yes, she would be a problem.

December 25, 2009

“Hello, Daniel, thees is Esmerelda, I wanted to call and thank Mr. Frome for the trip to Florida and wish him a Merry Christmas.” “He’s ahh very weak, Esmerelda, he’ll probably only be able to say “Merry Christmas to you”, replied Daniel.

Daniel picked up the tape player and punched the button, “Hello”, Sid’s voice was weak. “Hello Mr. Frome, this is Esmerelda.” She paused hoping for a response, but there was none. She continued, “I just wanted to call and thank you for the trip and wish you a Merry Christmas”.

Daniel had been changing the tape. “Merry Christmas” Sid seemed to reply. At that point, Daniel spoke, “Esmerelda, he seems quite weak today, Thank you for calling and we’ll see you next week. Merry Christmas”.

A few minutes later the doorbell rang, it was that pesky Gladys Johnson, holding a jar with a ribbon on it. Daniel answered the door. “Hi, Ms. Johnson, what brings you out here?” “Well I know how your father likes my apple butter, so I wanted to give this to him. Is he awake?”

Sidney takes a stroll

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January 1, 2010

The rural Virginia countryside had its first snow, and it was several inches deep. School children were hoping for more, but that was all that fell. Folks were out and about going from house to house, to celebrate the New Year, watch bowl games, and generally work off the hangover from the night before. It was a surprise to see Sidney Frome out. After all he was sick. The whole county knew that he was near death’s door. But there he was shuffling through the snow toward town on the road with its picturesque rock walls. Some folks called his name and waved, but he just kept walking looking down at the snow covered ground in front of him.

That evening Sheriff Burnett received a call. It was Marilyn Frome, “Sheriff, Daddy went out and he hasn’t come home.” She sounded frantic. “He said he was feeling better and wanted to see the decorations in town. I tried to talk him out of it, but you know how stubborn he is. I shouldn’t have let him go.” “Calm down now Marilyn,” the Sheriff said. “We’ll see if we can find him”. But his thoughts were much different. “Damn that old fool. I was planning on seeing the Orange Bowl tonight between Oklahoma and SMU. But noooo, now I have to stomp around in the snow and look for his fool self.” “Marilyn, what was he wearing?”, he asked. “He was wearing a blue flannel shirt, one of those ski vests, one of those red checked hats with the ear flaps, and work boots”, she replied. “Any idea what kind of pants he was wearing?” “They were black, I think.” He picked up the radio. “All cars, this is Sheriff Burnett, If you see Sid Frome, get him home. His family’s worried about him. He’s wearing a red checked flannel hat with flaps, blue flannel shirts, ski vest, black pants and work boots.” His deputies combed the roadsides to see if they saw him. Then the snow started again. If he fell down in the snow and needed help, any chance of finding him would be useless now. Any footprints he might have left would be gone now. The countryside had that new snow beauty, like a Christmas card. It was a though God had changed the color scheme of the world. Sheriff Burnett wondered, “Will it be spring before we find that body, if we ever find it?”

A plan is hatched

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After Fred left, Sidney told the kids not to leave the room there was something he wanted to discuss.

That night, Sidney told Esmerelda Gomez that he wanted to thank her for her many years of service and that he was giving her and her family an all expense paid vacation to Orlando, Florida with full pay. She at first objected, saying “Who will take care of you, you are so sick, senor.” He said, that he wanted to spend his final days on this earth alone with his loving children. “Are you sure, senor, I get the feeling that they will not want to soil their hands caring for you?”, she asked. He said, “Don’t worry, they’ll have plenty of reasons to take care of me. In fact Billions of reasons to take care of me. I’ll see you after the New Year. Please be on time that day.”

As Esmerelda left the room she couldn’t understand why this sick man would send her away for the Holidays, but then she thought, the children will love all of the amusement parks. She opened the envelope and saw airline tickets, hotel reservations, amusement park tickets for her and her family and smiled. She couldn’t pass this up and who knows, when he dies, she’ll probably be fired and won’t have this opportunity for years to come. She smiled, “I’m goin to Disney World”.

Marilyn had spent a life trying to find the love that Sidney had deprived her. Her parents divorced when she was quite young. Her father was aloof and tried to compensate by giving her everything she asked for. As a result she spent years buying things, toying with men, and living a life that would make the debauched look tame. She was a slender and attractive dark haired beauty with brown eyes and long brown hair with streaks in it to give her that mildly slutty quality – except for the fact that she was filthy rich. She clearly lived the life. There was one time, she went to Las Vegas for a weekend. She met this talk fat guy named Donny. What followed could only be certified as bizarre. As they walked down the strip they ran into an Elvis impersonator who admired her “assets”. He invited them all up to his suite. When they got up to his room there were a couple of scantily clad women. The room had a humongous hot tub in it and “Elvis” suggested that they all get in it. They all got naked and jumped in the tub. Donny immediately put the moves on Marilyn. After some heavy breathing for awhile, she told him to give it to her hard and he obliged. A wild orgy ensued and by the end of the evening she had been serviced by both men and had some wild moments with some of the women as well. This was but one example of many in Marilyn’s life. Needless to say, Marilyn lived a very free and easy lifestyle. She appeared in the various tabloids weekly announcing who her latest boy toy was. She was a party girl’s party girl.

Daniel was more tame. He enjoyed the fine things in life, golf, tennis, private clubs, fine dinners, and of course willing women interested in being seen with a billionaire’s son. But he still worked in the Company business and put in 50 hours per week behind the desk trying to keep the business going as his dad wasted away. He was not unattractive, but did not have time or interest in working out at the gym every day and had a swarthy dough boy quality to him. He did not have the time to put into playing the field and hitting the party circuit. Marilyn seemed to have that market cornered, anyway. No need for him to be in the tabloids to. Just keep his nose to the grindstone and keep the family business solvent. He had learned from the master and slowly took over the reins of the business. That was the key, to keep the business in the family. It was worth everything to him.

About 2010

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As we have passed the half way point of 2009 and head into 2010 without an estate tax bill, its time for a macabre look at “what if nothing happens in Congress this year”.  As you may or may not know, there is a one year tax holiday for estates of people dying in 2010. That means if you die in 2010 your estate owes no estate taxes no matter how rich you are.  The key is that you have to die in 2010 and only that year.  No dying at 11:59 p.m. on December 31 2009, and no dying at 12:00:01 a.m. on January 1, 2011.  No gift giving, no cheating.  If you’re worth over $1 Million it means a lot if nothing changes in the tax law because in the year 2011, as the law is currently written the Government will tax 45% of everything you own when you die that is over $1 Million (including homes, farms, small businesses, etc.).  So with that in mind enjoy the mayhem of 2010.  This will be a serial blog in the perils of Pauline style.  We will leave you hanging from day to day as stories develop.

NOW YOU SEE HIM, NOW YOU DON’T.

August 2010.

Laura Holden was the Medical Examiner for Northern Virginia.  She was a comely blonde with an IQ in the stratosphere.  She got her medical degree from Georgetown and did her pathology residency in the medical examiner=s office in Cook County, Illinois.  She had clearly earned her stripes.  She still remembers the day when the freezers gave out during a record July heat spell when bodies were piling up in the morgue in Chicago.  It was a tough week on the old nostrils.

Laura walked into the morgue.  She pulled on her non-latex surgical gloves over her finely manicured hands.    She had several autopsies ahead of her, but this one was a real stumper.  The body was badly decomposed.  Identifying the body was not hard.  It was industrialist Sidney Frome who had disappeared from his home last winter.  His children had called in a missing person report.  His family willingly provided dental records to her.  Their primary concern was unusual, that she fix a time of death.  Bodies told a lot.  But after 8 months or so, in the woods, with vermin, bugs, birds, and the elements it was a difficult if not impossible task.  She turned on her tape recorder.  “Body found, legal time of death, August 9, 2010 at 8:48 a.m..”