An Interesting New Year’s Eve

December 31, 2009.

“Dad, your driver’s sick and can’t take drive you to New Orleans tonight for the Sugar Bowl tomorrow. I think there’s a bus from Montgomery to New Orleans that gets in about noon.” “Son, are you crazy? I gotta get to New Orleans tonight. There is some first class hootie there, and I ain’t gonna miss it. Why don’t you drive me?”

Junior rolled his eyes, “because its New Year’s Eve, we have our annual tax sale, where we offer to pay their taxes next year if they buy this year. It’s always a huge sale day for us, and we have year end close out on the books. You remember those. I’ll make you a deal, I’ll drive you to the Mississippi state line and then you can drive and I’ll get back somehow.” “Sounds like a deal”, Senior responded.

Later that day, Junior stopped the car at a Hardees and handed the keys to his father. “Don’t get stopped, or you’ll spend New Year’s in a Mississippi jail”, he smiled. “It’s the old double nickel til we get to New Orleans. I’m staying at the Hilton.”

After waiving goodbye, Junior picked up the telephone and called Lomax Car Rentals. “Pick me up at Hardees”.

Christmas with Jacks

December 10, 2009.

The dealership had its annual Christmas party for its important customers and its staff and their families. Even in a bad economy, Holiday cheer had to be maintained for morale. Jack, Sr. held court.

As the kids opened their presents, Jack, Sr. was getting gifts from everyone, Cuban Cigars from Beau, candy from Elise, the shapely secretary, bourbon from Mikey, the head of the garage, and on and on. Junior watched as the boss got all these gifts he didn’t need or want, while Junior got nothing. He felt a little sick to his stomach. At that moment, Jack, Sr., walked up. “Look at all this crap, they give me for Christmas, although these cubans is pretty nice. We’ll have to fire up them puppies.” “Right Dad, I’m think I ate something that’s a bit too rich, and I’m feeling a little nauseous, so I’m going to split.” “Son, don’t lie to your pappy, I know you’re going out to bag you some young filly to ride tonight.” “Whatever you say dad”, Junior answered in a monotone.

As Junior was heading toward the door, Jack, Sr. shouted, “Junior, I’m going to spend Christmas at home this year. Let’s have a good ole’ time.” “That’s great, dad, turkey, gravy, stuffing and yams okay?.” “Sure, son, that sounds like heaven.”

December 25, 2009.

“Junior, you out did yourself this year. Good food and now we can watch a couple of basketball games on the television set and drink some nice port and smoke the cubans I got from Beau for Christmas.”

“Okay, dad, but let’s talk about the future for a minute. We have a huge business and we need to plan because we’re not going to be around forever. Something could happen to you, or something could happen to me. We need to think long term. Son, you get that lawyer to schedule a meeting with us about mid-January to talk about that. I am feeling a bit more mortal these days.December 10, 2009.

The dealership had its annual Christmas party for its important customers and its staff and their families. Even in a bad economy, Holiday cheer had to be maintained for morale. Jack, Sr. held court.

As the kids opened their presents, Jack, Sr. was getting gifts from everyone, Cuban Cigars from Beau, candy from Elise, the shapely secretary, bourbon from Mikey, the head of the garage, and on and on. Junior watched as the boss got all these gifts he didn’t need or want, while Junior got nothing. He felt a little sick to his stomach. At that moment, Jack, Sr., walked up. “Look at all this crap, they give me for Christmas, although these cubans is pretty nice. We’ll have to fire up them puppies.” “Right Dad, I’m think I ate something that’s a bit too rich, and I’m feeling a little nauseous, so I’m going to split.” “Son, don’t lie to your pappy, I know you’re going out to bag you some young filly to ride tonight.” “Whatever you say dad”, Junior answered in a monotone.

As Junior was heading toward the door, Jack, Sr. shouted, “Junior, I’m going to spend Christmas at home this year. Let’s have a good ole’ time.” “That’s great, dad, turkey, gravy, stuffing and yams okay?.” “Sure, son, that sounds like heaven.”

December 25, 2009.

“Junior, you out did yourself this year. Good food and now we can watch a couple of basketball games on the television set and drink some nice port and smoke the cubans I got from Beau for Christmas.”

“Okay, dad, but let’s talk about the future for a minute. We have a huge business and we need to plan because we’re not going to be around forever. Something could happen to you, or something could happen to me. We need to think long term.” “Son, you get that lawyer to schedule a meeting with us about mid-January to talk about that. I am feeling a bit more mortal these days. Since your momma died, I’ve been acting like a damn kid and not being an adult. I guess I was channeling my grief through living it up. And I am not sure that I’m completely past that, but we do need to do some planning son.”

High and Inside

November 2, 2009

The fastball started to rise, it seemed as if it were coming toward his face in slow motion, he could see clearly the seems as the rotated toward his eye. Still nursing the effects of the party the night before, his body was frozen as if in concrete as the baseball screamed toward him. He managed to slightly turn his head which meant that the pitch hit him near his orbital bone. The tell tale cantelope splitting open sound of a baseball hitting a face echoed across the field. Jack, Sr. lost consciousness immediately.

The league kept paramedics at these games because heart attacks were so prevalent in these fantasy leagues as older out of shape men tried to re live their childhoods. They reacted instantly by immobilizing his head, putting him on a backboard and rushing him to Phoenix Hospital.

November 2, 2009

“Mr. Jenkins, this is Joe Webb from the Fantasy League, you need to get down here to Phoenix right away, there’s been an accident.” “What happened?” asked Jack, Jr. “You father got hit with a fastball in the face, he’s in route to the hospital right now. They’re taking him to Phoenix Hospital, their emergency room number is 555-555-5555.”

Baseball Anyone?

October 15, 2009.

The Judge looked down at his old friend, Jack Jenkins, Sr. “Have the parties reached a plea agreement” the Judge inquired. “Yes, Your Honor, the State agrees to a continuance for one year based upon good behavior. If at the end of one year, there are no further charges against this defendant, the case will be dismissed” the prosecutor answered. “Is this your understanding Mr. Goldstein?”, the judge asked. “Yes, your honor.”, Goldstein replied. “Then I accept the plea agreement”, the Judge replied. “Mr. Jenkins, this Court accepts the plea agreement and you’re very lucky that you are not standing before me after being convicted of the charge, because I would be sentencing you to thirty days in jail. If I see you again, then I will sentence you to jail”, the judge intoned.

Jenkins answered humbly, “Thank you, Judge, I’ve gotten a driver for the year and trust me, I won’t be back here.”

October 30, 2009.

“Son, I’m headed to Arizona for a month to play fantasy baseball. Can you make sure that Bridget gets to the Atlanta airport to send her back to Sweden?” Jack, Sr. directed. “Sure, dad, and we have a driver lined up for you in Arizona for a month, he’ll meet you at the airport.” Junior said. Junior then turned and walked away, shaking his head. The old man was nuts.

A Little Conversation

May 1, 2009.

“Dad, I think you need to spend a little time with your lawyer, Jeb about your estate plan. Luckily, our dealerships are surviving this recession, nicely and that new Cash for Clunkers program will stimulate things further. He says that unless you happen to die next year, it will be impossible for me to keep the business open after you die because of all the death taxes that I’ll have to pay. That scare in March with the ski accident ought to be a warning to both of us that things can happen. Will you please schedule a meeting with Jeb? asked Junior.

“Son, that crash in March didn’t kill me did it? I may not be invincible, but I definitely am lucky. But I’ll meet with Jeb sometime soon. Did you see that new Iron Man commercial we just shot. I can’t believe that the movie company let me use that car for the commercial. I’m going to go to Biloxi for a few weeks to recuperate, then back here for a week and then going to Maine for a month or so. But come fall, we’ll definitely get on that tax stuff.”

September 12, 2009.

“Son what a summer, this is Bridget, I met her up in Newport this summer. And its still bikini weather down here. She’s from Sweden. I’m going to have to put up some screens around the pool at the house so that she can continue to get that all over tan. Boy the Tide sure beat the stuffin’s out of the Hokies last weekend. This is the year”.

Junior winced. His father was still reliving his childhood and clearly was not growing up. Except now, he had a gold card without a spending limit. “Dad after you get Bridget settled in, we need to have a meeting with Jeb. I’ll schedule it for maybe next week?” “Son, you’re a one track thinker and I appreciate that, but trust me, you gotta have some fun, too. Now after the Bama game tonight let’s see if we can get you in some trouble.”